Astounded

Need You With Me

Monday, April 19, 2010,6:36 PM

So, I've been really occupied lately. I don't even know what I do with my time either. I just come home from school and find all my time being consumed. I miss hanging out with my best friends and laughing about stupid things in Sadee's room or just stuffing our faces with food. *sighs* I miss them so much. I miss my boyfriend. In the last few months, our relationship has grown so much. We should be accustomed to seeing one another once a week or so only, but now more than ever I HATE being away from him. I hate having to wait the whole week through just to see his face. I hate having to wait by the phone late into the night for his phone call only to find myself half asleep while we're talking for those brief 20 minutes. I hate having to wait for one simple text from him. I hate looking at his loving face only to know that he's about to leave any moment. I hate saying goodbye to him knowing that the next time I'll see him will be an eternity! And I hate those last 30 minutes I get to see him. My heart just starts to tear at the seams. I know he's gonna have to go and I just hate it. And most of all, I hate the first few minutes when I see first see him cause then I realize I'm going to have to say goodbye later.

I'm such a crybaby! I just want to cry right now. I miss him. I miss those few rare nights we did spend alone and all we did was just lay next to each other. So much love and care packed into one single moment that I wished it would never end. We rarely get moments like those. It makes me so sad. Everyone tells me that I miss him too much and I'm a tad clingy, but they don't know the torture! We barely talk, and when we do, I'm falling asleep. We barely see each other. And we barely send texts anymore since my school is really strict with texting/cellphones. Plus, he's picking up more hours at work now, so some days we go through the whole day with only a few text messages being exchanged. This one night I woke up, it was thundering outside, and I started looking for him thinking he was right beside. I just cried myself to sleep. THATS how much I miss my dummy these days. *sighs* It feels like forever until I see him again! Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh damn itttttttttttttttt! And I'm so terribly lonely at school. I talk to people, but its not consistent or anything. *sighs*

I didn't think I could miss someone this much, but I do. I'm such a depressing gal. I guess I finally found my kryptonite/drug. =(

"I know that distance doesn't matter, but you feel so far away,
And I can't lie, Everytime I leave my heart turns gray,
And I wanna come back home to see your face tonight,
Cause I just can't take it, Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me, But I can wait,
I CAN WAIT FOREVER" - Simple Plan, Can Wait Forever

Truly Yours, Kia Yang